Get Smart - Review

"Get Smart"


If you're a smart moviegoer, you won't go into "Get Smart" expecting the 2008 film version to be anywhere near as good as the iconic TV series. That's no knock on the movie, just praise for Mel Brooks and Don Adams' original spy spoof series. Quite frankly, I wasn't expecting anything other than another fairly formulaic summer comedy out of "Get Smart," but I was pleasantly surprised. This isn't a comedy classic or a great film by any means, but it's an entertaining film that succeeds mainly due to its cast. There's absolutely no one else in Hollywood that could play Maxwell Smart as perfectly as Steve Carell. From the timing of his delivery to his facial expressions, Carell nails the part, and he's very funny (no surprise there). Watch him smirk while improbably dodging a room full of lasers, or try to intimidate the evil Siegfried and his assistant while delivering the movie's funniest line (Chuck Norris fans, rejoice!) Carell elevates the movie from okay to pretty good because - well, he's really funny.
The plot of "Get Smart" is as follows: Smart is an excellent intelligence analyst for USA intelligence agency CONTROL, but hopes to be a field agent like his idol Agent 23 (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson). When rival organization KAOS attacks CONTROL headquarters and subsequently learns the identities of all CONTROL agents, The Chief (Alan Arkin) promotes Max to field agent, pairing him with super-fit, super-hot Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway) as the pair travels to Russia to research KAOS's development of nuclear weapons. As expected, hijinks ensue.
The chemistry between Carell and Hathaway is excellent here. You probably won't believe the obvious eventual romantic subplot between them, but as a spy team they work. Hathaway effortlessly turns in a great performance here as the serious foil to Carell's comic antics. Johnson also has his moments as super-suave Agent 23 and Arkin is wonderful as the Chief. The problems with the film certainly don't stem from the cast. "Get Smart" works pretty well as a comedy, but as a spy movie it doesn't always roll. The action set pieces are unspectacular and often too over-the-top to work, and as previously mentioned, the romantic subplot seems forced. The movie also tries to make comic relief out of Bruce and Lloyd, played by Masi Oka and Nate Torrence. Hey, look!...the two nerds are played by an Asian guy and a fat kid! Couldn't have seen that one coming! As fate would have it, a direct-to-DVD movie "Get Smart's Bruce and Lloyd Out of Control," is set to be released in a few weeks.

The Verdict: Get Smart is hit-or-miss at times, but thanks mainly to Carell, it makes it by that much.
2.5 / 4 stars

Dear Brian Cashman...

For the love of god, DO SOMETHING! to change this bullpen. Today's Game 1 of the Yankees/Mets two-stadium doubleheader was an absolute disaster for the Bronx Bombers, who lost 15-6 and made The Struggling Carlos Delgado (his permanent name at this point) look like George Herman ****ing Ruth. Yes, Ross Ohlendorf, I'm looking at you. Edwar Ramirez, who looks like a completely different pitcher in the past few weeks, also struggled, and LaTroy Hawkins gave up 1 run in 2 innings for the best outing of anyone. That's right, "best" and "LaTroy Hawkins" in the same sentence, and it wasn't "best at allowing runs to score." Anyway, here are a few choices for the Yanks, in my opinion:

- Brian Fuentes, Colorado
It appears unlikely the Rockies will be repeating their second-half magic of this year, and they have Manny Corpas anyway. Fuentes' name has been floating out there in trade discussions for a while. He has a 2.01 ERA in 34 games and would slide into the 8th inning role right away. The Yanks have enough pitching prospects to get a deal done. Speaking of which...

- J. Brent Cox, Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees (AAA)
A 1.44 ERA over three minor league levels this season, with a 0.73 mark in 10 games at AAA. I think he's still hurt, but expect to see him sometime in the second half.

- Mark Melancon, Trenton Thunder (AA)
In 19.2 IP at Trenton, a 1.37 ERA and 0.61 WHIP. Melancon is supposed to be the closest thing to Joba (bullpen version, anyway) in the Yankee minors and could make the jump all the way from A ball to the majors this season. Look for a promotion to AAA sooner rather than later.

- David Robertson, SWB Yankees (AAA)
To quote the Baseball Toaster website: "In over 130 innings as a pro, he's yet to give up a home run, and in 28 appearances between Double- and Triple-A this year, he has a 1.74 ERA and 71 strikeouts in 49 2/3 innings. With a low-90s fastball and outstanding slider, Robertson may not have Melancon's upside, but he might get the call sooner."

- Eddie Guardado, Texas Rangers
Everyday Eddie has pretty decent numbers in Texas: 30 games, 18 H in 26.1 IP, 3.42 ERA, and an excellent WHIP of 0.99. I know he's old, but the Yankees could use a lefty who's not Billy Traber or...wait a minute, did we just call up Kei Igawa? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A final word from MLBTradeRumors in a possible reliever market is here:
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2008/06/the-reliever-ma.html



And a "Get Smart" review is on the way!

Juno - Review

"Juno"

2.5 / 4 stars

"Juno" is an indie film. It knows it's an indie film. And that's exactly the problem. I went into this film really wanting to love it but came out of it with a decidedly mixed attitude. "Juno" is a very nicely-cast and well-acted movie with some truly wonderful performances, but it's also irritating as hell. It tries way to hard to be the Lovable Indie Comedy of the Year(TM) with quirky humor and constant one-liners. Now some people may find these one-liners amusing and entirely quotable. I was wholly irritated at points thanks to the constant barrage of them. "Your eggo is preggo," says the drugstore clerk when Juno goes for her pregnancy test. "This is one doodle that can't be undid, homeskillet." "Honest to blog?" asks Juno's friend Leah when she hears of her pregnancy. An irritated girl behind the abortion clinic counter says "we need to know every sore and every score." All of these are within the first 20 or so minutes of the movie, and that's just a sampling. I'm sure the Napoleon Dynamite lovers and the hipsters out there will eat this up, and somehow the Academy did (Best Original Screenplay???? Really????) but it didn't work for me.
It's not fair to rate a film entirely on its dialogue though, and there are several good things about "Juno." The story revolves around 16-year-old Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page) who decides to experiment with sex with her nerdy friend Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera), and finds herself pregnant. With help from her friend Leah (Olivia Thirlby), Juno finds a couple played by Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman to adopt her baby. Predictably, problems ensue, which will not be spoiled here. Give credit to the actors and actresses here though. Page is destined for stardom, and it's not her fault the screenplay is irritating; she does a very nice job here as Juno. It's the two couples who shine brightest. Garner is just wonderful as a woman who believes she's destined to be a mother, and Bateman is very good as her rock star-aspiring husband. Juno's father and stepmother, played by J.K. Simmons and Allison Janney, are perfectly cast as a tough but understanding set of parents. Juno's relationship with her dad is hinted at a few times and only given a bit of screen time, but is beautiful when given the time to shine. The problems arise with some of the character relationships. Juno and Mark's relationship takes an unusual and perhaps unneccessary turn. And then there's Paulie Bleeker, who I really felt was an unlikable character. He's never around to help Juno despite being the father and it makes you wonder why she still loves him.
"Juno" does have a heart, and that's more than you can say about a lot of comedies. But it's not the type of movie that I could fall in love with and left me with as many negative feelings as positive ones. The whip-smart dialogue combined with the annoying-as-hell indie soundtrack all screams loudly in the movie's attempt to be the Lovable Indie Comedy of the Year(TM). Juno's not a bad movie - it simply tries too hard.

Been slacking on the reviews

I'm up at the girlfriend's house so I have not been posting much on this. I promise to my 4 readers that I will put up a bunch more reviews when I get home. Here's a few quick ones:

Blazing Saddles - *** Funny Mel Brooks satire of the Wild West. Harvey Korman is pure gold.
Die Hard - **** Action movies aren't supposed to be this good

So, it's been a day...

...and Darabont's script still kicks ass. I read it over again to make sure I'm not dreaming.

George Lucas should honestly be tested for mental retardation, and thrown away and locked up in an asylum for rejecting this.

Not only does it immediately come to mind that "hey, this fixes a lot of the problems in Indy IV!" but you start to realize problems from Crystal Skull that you didn't even know where there. For instance, Indy has something to do in the climax in this one. It's a Last Crusade-esque choice where he has to choose if he wants this great power. There are some dumb sequences too, like 4 waterfall drops instead of 3 from Crystal Skull, but a lot of the similar stuff is either explained better or given a purpose. Yes, there are aliens in the end. But it make sense, and the climax is fantastic. It's such a shame that this will have to be one of the greatest movies never made, and nothing more.

Indiana Jones and the City of Gods...

So I happened to stumble across Frank Darabont's unused script for Indiana Jones 4. Apparently this script was loved by everyone...except George Lucas, who then gave us the mediocre Crystal Skull. Anyway, Darabont wrote the screenplay for and directed The Shawshank Redemption and the Green Mile. So that's about all you need to know about him. I just finished this scrpit and I want to cry...it's not perfect. But it's still amazing and would have been a MUCH MUCH MUCH better 4th film in my opinion. If you want the script, shoot me an IM or an e-mail and you can judge for yourself. It's worth it.

Fargo - Review

"Fargo"

3.5 out of 4 stars


There is one thing the Coen brothers aren't very good at, and that's sticking to a genre. "Fargo" is essentially a thriller with some comedy, drama, and action. If this sounds familiar, it's probably because you're thinking of last year's "No Country for Old Men," which not coincidentally with also done by the Coens. With that in mind, I propose "Coen brothers" as a new genre in the same vein as action, comedy, horror, western, and thriller. "Fargo" isn't quite as good as "No Country," but then again, what is? It's a bizarre setup with some quirky humor and great characters that ultimately succeeds in a big way.
"Fargo" starts off in Fargo, North Dakota, and stays there for all of...oh, five minutes, before moving to Minnesota. William H. Macy plays Jerry Lundegaard, a down-on-his-luck, completely inept car salesman. He hires two goons, played by Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare, to kidnap his wife and demand $80,000 in ransom money. Jerry knows the money, which he needs for what he describes as "personal" reasons, will be paid by his wealthy father-in-law Wade, played by Harve Pressnell. Of course, things go horribly wrong from there. Marge Grunderson, played by Frances McDormand in an Oscar-winning performance, is a local police chief assigned to the case. She seems naive and casual throughout but is actually a sharp and able officer. McDormand is very good, although I wouldn't say Oscar-worthy. The supporting cast is fantastic, from Macy (who has nominated for an Oscar - rightfully so), Buscemi, and even Stormare despite having very little to say for most of the film. The movie is also very, very funny. It's not so much laugh-out-loud funny, but quirky with a lot of subtle humor. The Minnesota accents and dialogue are also great as the Coens master the language of the region. It's a bizarre movie like I previously stated and a bit tough to critique but trust me...this is a very good film. If you are a fan of the Coen brothers, you'll like this film, and if you are not, then you should be.

Transformers - Review

"Transformers"

Rating: 2 out of 4 stars

I can't really think of a good way to start this review because there a ton of things I wanna touch on. So let me make the obvious clear: despite what seemingly everyone else has told me, "Transformers" is not "AMAZING!," or "THE BEST MOVIE EVER!" There are some very good things about it; there are also some very bad things. And the movie is too long. Scratch that - the movie is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long. Here is the plot of this movie: The good transformers (Autobots) and the bad transformers (Decepticons) are both going after the Allspark (a really big cube). The location to this cube is embedded in a pair of glasses that Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) owns.
Wait for it.
Waaaaaaaait for it.
...There's nothing to wait for! That's the whole plot! Yet this movie is almost TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG. Now you ask yourself, how can this be? Oh wait...it's directed by Michael Bay! Cue the gratuitous violence and overly long battle sequences. Yes, the visual effects are excellent, and the transformers themselves look fabulous. Unfortunately, the effects are wasted in many scenes, such as the chaotic end battle which is way too long, way too confusing, and is just constant nonstop mayhem. Buildings blowing up, transformers crashing through buildings, hitting each other, killing each other, humans firing stuff, Shia LeBeouf running around, Shia LeBeouf somehow not getting caught by Megatron, transformers firing their own weapons, transformers turning into jets, jets firing at transformers, jets firing at transformer jets, and a bunch of stuff that I honestly just forgot because of how unmemorable it was. A movie this big should have a memorable ending, not a mediocre one. And the action sequences...yes, there's a lot of shit being blown up, and it's all very cool effects-wise...but they are just so chaotic, you can't get overly excited by them. Nobody really knows what the hell is going on, least of all me. There are also plotholes so big you could drive Optimus Prime's GMC truck through them. I know, I know, it's Transformers, and the plot is probably secondary...but still. The Transformers learned English through "the World Wide Web." But Megatron has been frozen since the 19th century and knows how to speak English. Whatever.
All right, time for more stupid things. The subplot involving that Australian girl (Rachael Taylor) and whoever the hell Anthony Anderson plays (Anthony Anderson) goes absolutely nowhere and serves no purpose whatsoever in the movie. The random Linkin Park music was out of place. The Transformers are this HUGE GIGANTIC ROBOTS and they can just stand there in clear sight in Sam's backyard? Or chase him in the middle of the day...and nobody will notice? And did I mention HOW FRIGGIN LONG this movie is?? Well I'll mention it again. IT'S WAY TOO LONG!!!
I know this is more of a rambling than a review and doesn't have much of an organization or sense to it, but hey, that's similar to the movie. There is some good stuff though, so let's go to that. The movie actually works pretty damn well as a comedy. LeBeouf seems very natural in the lead role and is a funny character throughout. John Turturro, who plays agent Simmons of Sector Seven, gives a very zany, off-beat performance, that will annoy the hell out of you at first but wins you over at the end. Sam's parents are a very funny duo, and a cameo from Bernie Mac had me laughing out loud. But the comic relief shouldn't be the best part of a movie about GIANT ALIEN ROBOTS KICKING THE CRAP OUT OF EACH OTHER. This is a movie that should have kept me entertained the entire way through. Yet at the end of this movie I was bored. That's right, a blockbuster movie, about giant alien robot transformer things, with a fairly big name cast (LeBeouf, Megan Fox, Jon Voight, Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel, Hugo Weaving), lots of stuff blowing up, and an enormous budget had me BORED at the end. Thank you, Michael Bay.

Transformers

I'm falling behind on the reviews here, but I will probably jump ahead of the previous three with a review for Transformers which I just watched for the first time. Here's a short recap of my thoughts:

- Completely ridiculous in every way possible. Good and bad.
- Shia LeBeouf was very good in the lead role
- Michael Bay movie so LOTS OF SHIT BLOWS UP. AND IT'S REALLY LOUD. AND ONE BIG CLUSTER&#*%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- I know it's Transformers and it's about gratuitous action, but the plot here is just...well, there isn't one.

Uneven. 2 stars out of 4

Where has Kevin Been? / Lots and Lots of Stuff

All three of my loyal readers have been dying for a new blog update, I'm sure. Where have I been? Well Wednesday night I went to see Prince Caspian and got home late, Thursday night I went to the Sacred Heart prom with my buddy Christine and last night I went to bed early and just didn't feel like writing anything. So there you go. Today I just got back from my fun fun fun 8 AM - 7 PM day at the beach so here I am. Now for some thoughts on sports today:

- I don't know if I will ever see a horse win a Triple Crown in my lifetime. If Big Brown couldn't do it after dominating the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness in almost effortless fashion, who can? It's amazing that with the grind these horses go through that any of them can even win the first two legs, and time after time I've seen a horse go 2-for-2 only to come up short at Belmont. It would have been really neat to see it happen for once. The good news is, his trainer Rick Dutrow can shut his arrogant big mouth. Guaranteeing a win only to have his horse ease up and finish last? KARMA BITCH!!
- The Yankees/Royals game was one of the most incredible games I have ever watched/listened to in my entire life. To recap: KC takes a 5-1 lead, the Yankees come back to tie at 5, Giambi hits a mammoth HR for a 6-5 lead, KC ties again, Guillen hits a grand slam off Pettitte for a 10-6 lead, 10 ER for Pettitte and 7 RBI with an OF assist for Guillen, A-Rod hits a monster shot for a 10-8 game, Damon gets a 2-run single in the 8th for his 5th hit to tie it, Mariano gives up a solo HR in the top of the 9th for an 11-10 Royals lead, Posada homers off the previously perfect Joakim Soria for a tie game, Damon ends it with a walkoff "ground rule single" for his 6th hit and a 12-11 win...just your average day at the ballpark. A few thoughts:
- Damon and Giambi are just KILLING the ball. And I mean KILLING. Johnny's gotta be the AL Player of the Week this week and Giambi is probably damn close. His HR today was one of the farthest up in the upper deck I have ever seen.
- A 4.99 ERA now for Pettitte after TEN earned runs in 6 2/3 IP. Pretty embarassing performance for Andy who clearly hasn't been the same as last year. We need him to get going and get going fast if we wanna start moving up.
- Wait, Mariano is human?
- Very quietly, Melky Cabrera is breaking out of his slump, and Wilson Betemit is playing some pretty good baseball today. A key sac fly and a huge 2-out walk in the 9th, and he's hit a few HRs recently. Why do we have Shelley Duncan on the roster again?
- Joba The Starter: Episode II starts tomorrow. He's on an 80-pitch limit this time. The obvious key: stop getting into 3-2 counts on everyone. Trust that your stuff is good enough and let the hitters put it in play. They aren't going to be hitting many 98 MPH fastballs and filthy sliders all over the place either way.
- Two cool draft notes: The Yankees took Zach Greinke's brother in the 11th round (they face Greinke tomorrow). And they drafted Pat Venditte in the 20th from Creighton...he's an AMBIDEXTROUS pitcher!! He can be your lefty and righty specialist. Definitely a guy to watch.

One more note: In the women's French Open, Ana Ivanovic defeated Dinara Safina, the younger sister of Marat Safin. Wait...where did that extra "a" come from?? How does this make any sense????? Should my sister be renamed Caroline "Browna"???????

(Full reviews of Rescue Dawn, NARNIA EPISODE UNO, and Prince Caspian coming soon, or your money back!)



Edit: Some predictions for tomorrow.
- Joba: Episode II goes much, much better than Episode I. He pitches at least 4 innings of 1-run or less ball.
- Kobe erupts, Lakers win Game 2
- Nadal beats Federer in straight sets at the french final

Couple quick reviews for the day

Full reviews to come

Rescue Dawn : ***1/2
The Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe : **1/2
The Chronicles of Narnia - Prince Caspian : ***

Mike Mussina - ****

Random Thoughts and Comments on the Yankees

I like Joe Girardi a lot. But sometimes I feel like the man has no idea what he is doing. Consider the following:
- In the first three games of this series, Johnny Damon and Jason Giambi, THE TWO HOTTEST HITTERS ON THE TEAM COMING IN, have each not started a game, for, respectively, Shelley Duncan and Wilson Betemit.
- Most innings pitched out of the bullpen: Ross Ohlendorf
- Second-most innings pitched out of the bullpen: KYLE FARNSWORTH
- Edwar Ramirez has allowed 11 hits and 6 walks in 16 innings, has given up one solo homer for his only run, has 15 strikeouts, a 0.56 ERA and a 1.06 WHIP. Kyle Farnsworth is still the setup man.
- Chris Britton has given up 5 base runners in 6 innings, but when he is called up hardly ever pitches. He has pitched in 3 games; LaTroy Hawkins has pitched in 20.

Other noteworthy stuff:
- Mike Mussina is tied for the AL lead in wins. Seriously.
- Chien-Ming Wang in his last 5 games: 0-2, 5.67 ERA.
- Shelley Duncan's line this season: .161/.250/.250 in 56 at bats.
- A-Rod with runners in scoring position: .194/.341/.250 with 0 HRs. I'm just saying...
- Bobby Abreu with RISP: .377/.441/.604